( DAC 99 Item 1 ) ----------------------------------------------- [6/25/99]

   !!!     "It's not a BUG,                           jcooley@world.std.com
  /o o\  /  it's a FEATURE!"                                 (508) 429-4357
 (  >  )
  \ - /                     DAC'99 Trip Report:
  _] [_                  "The DAC That Shagged Me"
                                  - or -
     "74 Engineers Review DAC'99 in New Orleans, LA, June 21-25, 1999"

                              by John Cooley

       Holliston Poor Farm, P.O. Box 6222, Holliston, MA  01746-6222
     Legal Disclaimer: "As always, anything said here is only opinion."


 As I got out of the taxi in front of my hotel and the driver had handed me
 my 40 lb duffel bag -- "*HOLY-MOTHER-OF-GOD!!!" -- my back VERY painfully
 went out.  They checked me into my hotel room with the bellhop bringing me
 in on his cart.  (I tipped him $15.)

 I spent 10:PM to 4:AM Saturday night three blocks from Bourbon Street on
 a gurney in the hallway of the Tulane Hospital Emergency Room.  They
 started with Codine pills.  What eventually worked 4 hours later was the
 intramuscular shot of Demerol.  By 4:30 AM, I was back in my hotel room,
 chemically numb, tired and happy.   Ah...  Demerol dreaming...  

 I was excited about DAC.  And the night before I saw that new movie
 "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" with my girlfriend.  Glasses, bad
 teeth, 'International Man Of Mystery'  (POOF!)  I'm 'Austin Powers'!
 Missing-but-we-know-he'll-be-back, past personal rival...  (POOF!)  Joe
 Costello becomes 'Dr. Evil'.  Technically-incoherent, concentrated evil,
 and 1/8th the man that Joe Costello is...  (POOF!)  and, of course,
 Ron Collett becomes the evil little 'Mini-Me'!

 It's fun to dream laughing.  :^)


    "This is the best of all possible worlds."

         - German philosopher, Baron von Leibniz, 1646 - 1716


    "If this is the best of all possible worlds, what are the others like?"

          - French wit and philosopher, Voltaire, 1759