( ESNUG 592 Item 12 ) ------------------------------------------------------ [08/31/23]
Subject: Cooley's first complaint about Sassine becoming Synopsys' new CEO
GRRRRR... Here's my timeline for the past 2 months. Look at it and you will begin
to understand my first complaint about Sassine becoming the new CEO of Synopsys.
July 2023
The first 3 weeks of July are either pre-DAC hysteria week (July 2nd to July 8th),
DAC week itself (in purple) or the post-DAC recovery week (July 15th to July 22nd).
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
July 23rd to August 13th
Over those 22 days, I was swamped helping my two brothers (plus one muscular
nephew and his 2 housemates) clean out my dead dad's home in Florida ...
Tearing out the old wall-to-wall carpets, tearing out built-in bookshelves,
pressure washing the outside walls, painting, painting, painting indoors ...
Plus sorting through a sea of papers and books and lose items and small crap
(and putting 90% of it in the construction dumpster ...)
Plus sorting (to either keep/donate/dump) each piece of furnature in the house ...
Plus pulling out the 9 foot tall front yard hedge "for better curb appeal"...
To do all this in 22 days to make my dead dad's house sellable ...
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
Monday, August 14th
11:40 AM -- I arrive back in Massachusetts in a U-HAUL filled with my share
of the family "treasures". I unload the boxes into storage for later sorting.
4:30 PM -- After lots of yelling/reorganizing, my girlfriend and I finally get
my car packed and ready for our Maine getaway starting tomorrow morning.
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
Tuesday, August 15th
7:32 AM -- We start our 6 hour drive from Holliston, Mass. to Grindstone, Maine.
2:36 PM -- We arrive at the camp ground and set up camp next to the river.
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
Wednesday, August 16th
9:18 AM -- Spent a nice long lazy day kayaking, swimming, and picnicking on the
sand bars along the Penobscot River -- where my cell phone doesn't get reception.
8:08 PM -- finally off the river and on the way back to camp, I turn on my cell
phone and WTF? I am flooded with texts about Aart stepping down as CEO; and
that Sassine is taking his place.
9:47 PM -- after dinner my girlfriend yells at me because I'm on my laptop by the
campfire furiously putting together my quickie DeepChip survey question about
Sassine becoming the new SNPS CEO.
That red circle on August 16th is when Sassine ruined Cooley's vacation.
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
Thursday, August 17th
6:23 AM -- I sneak off to a local McDonald's to use their WiFi.
7:54 AM -- I launch my "what do you think about Sassine?" quickie survey question
out on the DeepChip.com email blaster.
8:09 AM -- I return to camp to find my furious girlfriend scowling at me.
"THIS IS VACATION, BUSTER!!!! NO COMPUTERS NOR CELL PHONES ALLOWED!"
9:56 AM -- she finally calms down on the condition that I won't touch my laptop at
all AND all my texts can only be vacation texts to family and friends.
"NO WORK TEXTING ALLOWED, OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!"
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
Friday, August 18th
4:14 AM -- I wake up early worrying if my email blast successfully completed
or not. (It takes 14 hours for the server to blast out the 62,678 emails.)
4:18 AM -- I contemplate going back to that same McDonald's to check if the
blast completed -- but I wisely chicken out.
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
August 19th to August 22nd
I stay off of my laptop plus do absolutely NO work texts whatsoever.
Lots of kayaking and camping and bicycling results in Cooley decompressing.
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
Wednesday, August 23rd
11:38 AM -- Finally back home, I log into my desktop PC and, to my great dismay,
I find 16,281 "Out of Office" automatic email replies from when I surveyed the
62,678 DeepChip subscribers from the week earlier.
To get a sense of this, here's what the first 1,000 "Out of Office" emails I saw.
It takes 23 screens just to show this first 1,000 ...
... to show the remaining 15,281 "Out of Office" replies would take
15,281 / 23 == 664 more screens to view
That is,
16,281 / 62,678 == 26%
of the DeepChip email list was away on vacation on the 3rd week of August...
... so Cooley will have to resend this "quickie" email survey out again *after*
the 3-day Labor Day weekend (when everyone is back at work...)
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----
COOLEY'S COMPLAINT:
From: [ John Cooley of DeepChip.com ]
To: [ Sassine Ghazi of Synopsys.com ]
Dear Sassine,
The next time you choose to become the Chief Executive Officer and
President of a 19,000 employee, $4.6 billion revenue (FY 2022) company,
could you please do it during a reasonable time of year where:
1. all of Europe is NOT away on their annual 5-week vacation;
2. and half of Americans are NOT trying to get in their last
minute End-of-Summer 2-week vacation in;
3. and older parents are NOT dropping their kids off to college;
4. and younger parents are NOT getting ready to send their K-12
kids off to K-12;
5. and other folks are NOT away closing up their summer camp;
and even more other folks are NOT packing to move (because everyone knows
that August is moving season?!?!!)
Seriously, didn't even one of your advisors think to suggest that:
"Hey, maybe we should announce this once every 30 years
big news on the 3rd week of September -- instead of on
the 3rd week of August -- when everyone's away???"
Not one of your handlers thought of this??? Seriously? Not one? :(
- John Cooley
DeepChip.com Holliston, MA
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