Editor's Note: Recently I got a very large UNIX-workstation-sized box
 delivered to my farm with very explicit directions that only "John Cooley"
 should open it.  My girlfriend freaked yelling: "Oklahoma!  Aaaah!
 Unabomber!  Aaaaaah!  It's a big bomb!!!  Aaaah!" -- but the hope that
 *finally* someone had sent me a UNIX workstation for use on the farm blinded
 me to any fears of the box exploding.  I greedily opened it only to find:

    To: The "Real" Harvey & Aart
    c/o John Cooley, Holliston Poor Farm, PO Box 6222, Holliston, MA  01746

    Dear little Harv & Aart,

    We were honored last Christmas to hear that your Uncle John had named
    you after us.  We thought you might like to have a picture of your
    Synopsoidal namesakes to hang in your barn.  The enclosed photograph
    was taken when Uncle Harvey was young and thinnner and Uncle Aart had
    a mustache and was more technical.  Also enclosed is a 50 lb bag of
    TOP GOAT (feed grain); we hope you kids enjoy it!

                            Aart J. de Geus         Harvey C. Jones
                            President & CEO         Chairman of the Board

 My girlfriend laughed & said "Oh, honey!  How nice of them!" while reading
 the letter.  I was still a little bummed because I risked our lives for a
 50 lb bag of goat food & a framed photo.  I groped in the styrofoam packing
 in the box hoping to find the other note saying "P.S. We have a nice big
 workstation waiting for you to pick up at our Boston office! Merry X-mas!".
 I couldn't find it.   (Damn!)   :^(
                                         - John Cooley
                                           the ESNUG guy